Do You Teach Your Teens Self-Reliance or Dependence?

I was driving down the street one day and saw a sign outside a school. You know how they pick a character trait to work on for a month or other set time period? Well, this one had the word, “Self-Reliance” in big, black letters.

Self-Reliance

I thought to myself, “That’s good.”

We need to be teaching our teens self-reliance. Share on X

For instance, I want my kids to know how to do their laundry, cook some staple things, take care of car maintenance, and be able to study and learn from a textbook — WITHOUT my help! These are just a few important life skills they definitely need to know. Especially before they leave home. Self-reliance is certainly a necessary tool in training and parenting our teens.

Dependence

However, as I kept driving on, I was thinking to myself, “What about dependence? Don’t we also want them to depend on God for their needs, and for wisdom, and for so many other things as well?”

What are some things you depend on God for? Here are mine: calmness when the world around is in chaos, an inner peace instead of anxiety or worry, and trusting in Him for HIs future plans for those you love when nothing seems certain.

Both Self-Reliance And Dependence

So which is it? Is it Self-Reliance or Dependence that is of primary importance?

I have come to the conclusion that is BOTH. It is necessary for us to have some self-reliance, to do some things ourselves that no one else can do for us. But, it’s just as important to have that ultimate dependence on God.

Naaman Has To Do It Himself

In 2nd Kings 5, Naaman was the Captain of the Army of the nation of Aram. And he was also a leper. He came to Elisha to be healed. Elisha told him he had to “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh will be restored to you and you will be clean.” (v. 10)

But Naaman didn’t want to do it. He was furious. He thought if any river could cleanse him, surely it would have been the ones back home in Damascus. So he traveled home, and his servants said to him, “My father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” (v. 13).

So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child and he was clean. (v. 14).

Did you see that? He did it himself. The Lord, thru Elisha, gave him an instruction. And he did it himself. No one else could do it for him. Sometimes, the Lord wants us to obey it ourselves and take care of the mess ourselves.

The Parable of the Talents

Have you heard of the Parable of the Talents? It’s a story told by Jesus of Nazareth. You can find it in Matthew 25:14-30. A man was about to go on a trip. He called his slaves and entrusted his possessions to them for safekeeping while he was away. To the first slave, he gave five talents. To another, he gave two. And to the third, he gave one talent. When he came back, he asked them what they had done with the talents they had been given. The one who had five had multiplied it into ten. The one who had two had turned it into four. But the one who had just one talent had buried it in the ground and done nothing with it. When the master returned, he rewarded the first two slaves. But the third slave, who didn’t take initiative to DO IT HIMSELF, he punished.

This parable reminds me that the Lord has entrusted us with certain gifts and skills and He wants us to use them while we wait for His return.

But what about dependence?

Dependence is easy to find in the Bible. There are so many verses about it. If you search on “Trust in the Lord,” you will find 31 references just to that phrase alone. Plus the many stories of people trusting in God the Father or in Jesus Christ, HIs Son. I think about Daniel, and the entire chapter of Hebrews 11, to name just a few.

We should be pointing our kids to depend on the Lord. Nothing else will save them.

Psalm 62:1 says, 'My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation.' Share on X

What about you? How are you helping your kids have BOTH self-reliance AND dependence on God?