I went to see my son last weekend at Georgia Southern and my daughter in Savannah at medical school. While we were driving around town and walking the campuses, the thought occurred to me:
“None of this was set in stone a year ago.”
All the decisions that got us to this place have all taken place in the past year. And it was indeed a scary senior year – for both my high school senior and my college senior.
One year ago, I was begging, yes, I literally mean begging, my son to apply to colleges and to study for the ACT or SAT (pick one, I don’t care!) and take it again.
My daughter, as a senior in her undergraduate degree, had applied to med schools during the summer before and we had heard NOTHING back, nada, zilch! I was asking her questions like, “When do you think we may hear back?” in a very casual way. Or at least trying to be casual about it. And, “Have you thought about any ideas for backup plans if no one replies?” The way med school applications work is if they don’t reply, they don’t want you. So you could literally wait nine months and hear nothing and then you must then assume they aren’t interested and move on to your next steps.
Throughout the year, we had discussions with my son about his possible plans. A lot of them ended with him saying he would stay at home and go to the local university here. I was not very settled with this idea.
One, all three of his siblings who graduated before him had gone away to school. So it was sort of a tradition in our home that that is what you do. It would definitely be a new idea if he stayed home. I would have to adjust to that.
Second, we were starting to think about our plans as empty nesters: projects, travel, time together, etc. and it seemed to me that if he stayed around it might change those plans or delay them.
Third, I thought he might have new and better opportunities at other places than the local university. He had been dual-enrolling there full-time, so we knew a lot about what that would look like. And frankly, I was growing weary of him spending another year doing what he did during senior year. Let’s just say, it wasn’t always productive. Not that the grass is greener somewhere else. I was sure that he could go off to somewhere else and do the same things he had been doing at home – gaming, trips to the gym, hanging out with some people I thought weren’t mature, a lot of late nights and afternoon naps. Not that any of that in particular is bad, but the combination of it all led to a year that didn’t seem really productive to me.
So what changed? We decided to do a few college tours. To be fair, we included a tour of the university that is close to home. We brought my husband with us so all three of us went together. I wanted all of us to have the same experience so that we could discuss the pros and cons together afterward.
Since my son wants to be a mechanical engineer, we went to the STEM open house so we could see the STEM buildings, hear from professors, etc. We walked all over the STEM campus and ate in the dining hall with mostly engineers! 😉
We also went to Georgia Southern’s Open House. This one was for all majors, but we could customize our day by choosing some breakouts in engineering. We started our day by checking in and going to the college department fair. It was a large room with tables set up representing each college. We headed to the Mechanical Engineering table first. We enjoyed speaking with a professor and hearing about all the research they are doing, the new engineering building, and clubs and co-ops.
Next, we headed to the music department table. It turned out that the person manning the table was the Head Trumpet professor. Perfect for my trumpet player! We found out a lot of details about their music program that would make it easier for our son to have a lot more opportunities than he was having at his dual enrollment college: a trumpet studio trip to Germany, chair placement by audition, not by major, a University band filled with not just college students but members of the community, Then we went to the STEM sessions and heard presentations on the General Engineering department and then also the specific Mechanical Engineering department. Then we took a tour of the new Engineering Lab building. And finally, we headed to the dining hall to feed our hungry selves!
On the way home, our son said, “I think this is the place for me. I’m going to apply for the summer internship for high schoolers in engineering.” (That’s a whole separate blog post, but suffice it to say, he ended up getting it and had an internship the summer before he started college.) And, it goes without saying that his motivation level had increased substantially and he was now thinking bigger and making plans that were quite different even the day before.
Everything changed just from that one day, that one college tour.
All of that to say, if you are the parent of a senior, hang in there! So much is happening during senior year. It is a total roller coaster as you navigate college applications, transcripts, and test scores, take college tours, discuss finances and scholarships, and plan housing arrangements – whether your student is going off to college or staying home. Some days you may be UP and other days you will feel DOWN. It’s wise to try to maintain an even keel, an even tone as you go through this year.
And what about my daughter? Well, she heard in early January that she got an interview. Two weeks after the interview, she received an offer to attend med school. And then came the planning and moving her from one apartment to the next. One year later it was completely different! She was living in a new town, going to a new church, making new friends, and attending her first semester of med school.
And what about those better opportunities for my son? Yes, that has totally happened. First, there was the summer internship where he worked on the manufacturing floor at a plant and learned a ton about machining and CAD work. How many high school seniors can have that experience?
Next, he loves the one-on-one lessons with his trumpet professor. He is growing and being challenged. He was asked to play a song for his entire trumpet studio – about 30 students, as a freshman! They’ve asked him to join the jazz ensemble mid-semester and ongoing. This is a huge honor because it normally requires a tryout and he will receive a scholarship. His trumpet professor is also asking him to do some off-campus gigs as well.
I believe all these opportunities equate to the “big fish in the small pond” scenario for him, which I’ve written about before. Because the school is smaller than the big-name schools in our state, it’s a smaller pond. But that is leading to bigger opportunities for him, and a chance to stand out.
Everyone’s college exploration and decision experience will be different. There’s certainly not a one-size-fits-all situation for everyone. You have to pray and listen to how God is guiding you as you make each choice along the way. I hope our story gives you some things to consider as you make your own decisions during your scary senior year. And as you do so, trust that everything may be different in just one year.
