Are You Anxious About Launching Your Teenager?

Do you ever do your best thinking in the shower? What about having feelings of anxiety in the shower? After I had my hip surgery, I finally got to take a shower in my regular bathroom in the house about 3 weeks post-op.

I was standing in the shower and I realized that the dog was loose in the house and not being attended to. I had also left my coffee cup on my nightstand. In the past, this dog would love to get on my bed and knock my cup onto the floor, so then she could drink up anything she could find on the floor. She would also run around the house and go to the bathroom on the carpet if no one was watching her. It was like leaving a toddler unattended! I started worrying about this. And since I was recovering from surgery, I wasn’t going to be able to run quickly to fix the problem. My anxiety level was starting to skyrocket.

But then it occurred to me: What’s the worst thing that could happen? I might get out of the shower and find there is coffee everywhere. I might find fresh spots on the carpet that need cleaning. Those things would be a problem.

If this happened, could I handle it? Yes. It would be a pain. But I could.

Worry about ONLY those things you can control

My friend sent me a picture recently, depicting a mom worrying only about the things she can control.

I had a similar situation last fall, concerning my daughter who is attending college in our state. The school she is at was in the running to go all the way to the national football championship. Needless to say, football game days were crazy. On one particular Saturday, I knew she was at the game. I hadn’t heard from her and I was hoping that she had found a seat and was having fun. Getting into the student section was complicated and chaotic. Neither of which were her jam, but she was going with friends.

While I waited to hear from her, I saw on the parent Facebook group that some girls were assaulted by fraternity boys in the student section at the game. Immediately I had so much fear and anxiety. My daughter could have been in that group. I was so worried for her. Yes, I worried for her safety. Yes, it was a valid concern. But could I do anything about it? No. I have no control over what is happening an hour and a half away in a crowded stadium. So, I gave it over to God. I let go of it. And then I put it in a box of things I have no control over and I laid it at His feet. 

This is what it means to take every thought captive. You capture those thoughts and put them away. Make a strong effort to not dwell there, to not stay there. 

Two ways to take those thoughts captive and calm anxiety:

1. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen? Could you deal with that? Then let it go.
2. Ask yourself, is this something I can control? If No, capture that worry and put it in a box and lay it down at His feet. Let it go.

Lately, in our family, we are working through trying to figure out where God wants our 3rd child to go to college. She has many great options but that sometimes makes it harder to make a decision.  These are times when I need to take those thoughts captive and pursue the steps He has laid out for us, one step at a time until we determine where our path has ended up. Proverbs 4: 18 says, “But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.”

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So let me ask you? What are you worrying about today? What things are bringing you anxiety? Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” Ask yourself, “Can I control the outcome of this problem?” Use these questions to help you manage your worry and fears when it comes to raising and launching your teen.